Climbing Out of a Hole
Recovering from stress and negative thoughts
💪 The title “Get Better” was chosen for this newsletter because it applies not only to when things are good though you want to achieve more, but when things aren’t going great and you just want to get back to normal. Today’s article relates to the latter scenario.
Climbing Out of a Hole
I recently found myself unwell due to poor mental health. I’d been letting stress build up and had allowed negative thought patterns to take root inside my head. This resulted in an overwhelming amount of anxiety, insomnia, feelings of nausea and jitteriness and panic attacks. It was deeply unpleasant. Deeply. Unpleasant. I felt like I had fallen into a dark, dank hole. But I managed to climb out again (and am continuing to), so here are the changes that I found worked for me.
Stopping
I realised by trying to ignore it, but continuing to heap pressure onto myself, this situation was only going to get worse. So I got on the phone to my GP, I took their advice and got signed off work sick. With this time I was able to get some distance from the problems and started to work out the other steps on this list.
Talking
A huge cause of my worries had been caused by bottling things up and not sharing what was on my mind. This caused my problems to ferment and, in my imagination at least, to grow to enormous size. As soon as I started to share what was weighing on my mind, things started to ease. I also found the more honest I was about what I was going through, the more other people shared their own similar experiences and I felt much less alone.
Challenging negative thinking
I sat with a blank piece of paper and forced myself to put into words every negative thought that I was having. Once I’d got them all down, underneath each I wrote down things I knew to be true which countered that thought. In the few cases where I couldn’t counter it, instead I noted all the actions I was going to take in order to take control of things. I repeat this exercise every few days.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
One of things about stress and anxiety is that although it starts in the head, it starts to take hold of the body as well - causing feelings of tightness and heaviness which then feed back into the mind. This exercise is a way of releasing that built up physical tension. It involves lying on your back, focusing on your breathing and then tensing a group of muscles as tightly as you can for a few seconds and then releasing them and letting them relax. It feels a little bit odd but honestly helps you to feel better. Here is a really good guided exercise.
Qi Gong
This is something I’ve talked about previously, and had already been committing to doing regularly, but it really helped here. I was starting each morning with a knot of fear in my stomach. By stopping and taking the time to go through the simple motions of Qi Gong exercises and focusing on my breathing, I felt more centred and ready for the day. Now I start each day with this ritual and it really helps leave me in a positive place.
Planning
As I started to feel more in control again, I took the time to put together a plan. I started with where I wanted to get to (not feeling like this again) and then identified the changes that would lead to that, and in turn broke each of them into actions. I then documented all this, and each day took time to look at the list and work out what I was to cross off next. I’m currently trying to embed the habit of returning to this plan, so it doesn’t get forgotten amongst the daily bustle of life.
Walking in nature
Every day I was off, I forced myself to get out of the house and to go for a walk in the woods or somewhere similar. Sometimes I was able to meet up with a friend or my parents. I’d forgotten how pleasing it is just to stroll through a quiet woodland (see my previous post - How Cool Are Trees) and listening to the birds sing.
Medication
I can’t attribute my success to just positive thinking and physical activities. I did also, after discussion with my GP, increase the dosage of the anti-depressant medication I have been taking. It is certainly possible to tackle these sorts of mental health problems without resorting to medication, but I also think it’s important to recognise there is no shame in doing so either - as long as following the guidance of a suitable medical professional.
So there we have the main things that helped me out of that hole. I share them here, both to hopefully help guide others, but also for my own reference - so I don’t go forgetting the steps that helped fix this horrible situation, should things ever look to be heading in that direction again. The sooner you start to tackle this issues, the better.
Bonus bits
🤘 In case you need to hear this today
📖 I’ve been watching
Each series of this drama is a detailed retelling of a different genius’s life, from childhood to death. Albert Einstein, Pablo Picasso and Aretha Franklin. Despite the bizarre decision to cast some of the same actors as different characters between series, these are a fascinating watch which I learned a lot from (including that both Einstein and Picasso would have been horrible to have been married to).
👨🎤 I love a good cover
The Kids Aren’t Alright - Originally by The Offspring - Covered by Xennon
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